God gives us specific guidelines on how to live our life. This includes also a clear picture of which character qualities we have to develop (or to build in our children). In the table below you see which qualities God wants us to develop, supported by scripture.
| Quality | Versus | Explanation | Scripture | |
| 1 | Attentiveness | Unconcern | Showing the worth of a person by giving sincere attention to his words | Heb 2:1 |
| 2 | Obedience | Willfulness | Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed authority. | 2 Cor 10:5 |
| 3 | Contentment | Covetousness | Realizing God has provided everything I need for my present happiness. | 1 Tim6:8 |
| 4 | Orderliness | Disorganization | Preparing myself and my surroundings so that I will achieve the greatest efficiency. | 1 Cor 14:40 |
| 5 | Reverence | Disrespect | Awareness of how God is working through the people and events in my life to produce the character of Christ in me. | Prov 23:17,18 |
| 6 | Forgiveness | Rejection | Healing others by using their offenses as a means of expressing to them Christ’s love. | Eph 4:32 |
| 7 | Gratefulness | Unthankfulness | Making known to God and others in what ways they have benefited my life. | 1 Cor 4:7 |
| 8 | Faith | Presumption | Visualizing what God intends to do in a given situation and acting in harmony with it. | Heb 11:1 |
| 9 | Truthfulness | Deception | Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts. | Eph 4:25 |
| 10 | Security | Anxiety | Structuring my life around what is eternal and cannot be destroyed or taken away. | John 6:27 |
| 11 | Meekness | Anger | Yielding my personal rights and expectations to God | Ps 62:5 |
| 12 | Cautiousness | Rashness | Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions | Prov 19:2 |
| 13 | Patience | Restlessness | Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving Him a deadline to remove it | Rom 5:3,4 |
| 14 | Determination | Faint-heartedness | Purposing to accomplish God’s goal in God’s time regardless of the opposition. | 2 Tim 4:7,8 |
| 15 | Dependability | Inconsistency | Fulfilling what I consented to do even if it means unexpected sacrifice. | Ps 15:4 |
| 16 | Punctuality | Tardiness | Showing high esteem for other people and their time | Ecc 3:1 |
| 17 | Discernment | Judgement | Seeing through a surface problem to root causes. | 1 Sam 16:7 |
| 18 | Loyalty | Unfaithfulness | Using adversity to confirm my commitment to those whom God has called me to serve. | John 15:13 |
| 19 | Compassion | Indifference | Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of others. | 1 John 3:17 |
| 20 | Alertness | Unawareness | Ability to anticipate right responses to that which is taking place around me. | Mark 14:38 |
| 21 | Thriftiness | Extravagance | Not letting myself or others spend that which is not necessary. | Luke16:11. |
| 22 | Responsibility | Unreliability | Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting from me. | Rom 14:12 |
| 23 | Virtue | Impurity | The moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiate from my life as I obey God’s Word. | 2 Pet 1:5 |
| 24 | Tolerance | Prejudice | Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity. | Phil 2:2 |
| 25 | Fairness | Partiality | Looking at a decision from the viewpoint of each person involved. | Luke 6:31 |
| 26 | Joyfulness | Self-pity | The exultation of my inward being that results from genuine | Prov 15:13 |
| 27 | Wisdom | Natural inclinations | Seeing and responding to life situations from God’s frame of reference. | Prov 9:10 |
| 28 | Self-control | Self-indulgence | Instant obedience to the initial prompting of God’s Spirit | Gal 5:24,25 |
| 29 | Discretion | Simple-mindedness | The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which are not honoring to God. | Prov 22:3 |
| 30 | Diligence | Slothfulness | Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it. | Col 3:23 |
| 31 | Endurance | Giving up | The inward strength to withstand stress to accomplish God s best | Gal 6:9 |
| 32 | Deference | Rudeness | Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve | Rom 14:21 |
| 33 | Sincerity | Hypocrisy | Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives | 1 Pet 1:22 |
| 34 | Generosity | Stinginess | Realizing that all I have belongs to God and using it for His purposes | 2 Cor 9:6 |
| 35 | Humility | Pride | Recognizing that God and others are actually responsible for the achievements in my life | Jam 4:6 |
| 36 | Enthusiasm | Apathy | Expressing with my spirit the joy of my soul | 1 Thes 5:16,19 |
| 37 | Initiative | Unresponsiveness | Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before 1 am asked to do it. | Rom 12:21 |
| 38 | Love | Selfishness | Giving to others basic needs without having as my motive personal reward. | 1 Cor 13:3 |
| 39 | Creativity | Under-achievement | Approaching a need, a task, an idea from a new perspective. | Rom 12:2 |
| 40 | Decisiveness | Double-mindedness | The ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the will and ways of God. | Jam 1:5 |
| 41 | Sensitivity | Callousness | Exercising my senses so that one can perceive the true spirit and emotions of those around me. | Rom 12:15 |
| 42 | Thoroughness | Incompleteness | Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected. | Prov 18:15 |
| 43 | Resourcefulness | Wastefulness | Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or discard. | Luke 16:10 |
| 44 | Flexibility | resistance | Not setting my affections on ideas or plans that may be changed by others. | Col 3:2 |
| 45 | Availability | Self-centeredness | Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I am serving. | Php 2:20,21 |
| 46 | Hospitality | Loneliness | Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual refreshment with those God brings into my life. | Heb 13:2 |
| 47 | Gentleness | Harshness | Expressing personal care appropriate to another’s emotional need. | 1 Thes 2:7 |
| 48 | Boldness | Fearfulness | Confidence that what I have to say or do will result in lasting benefit | Acts 4:29 |
| 49 | Persuasiveness | Contentiousness | Guiding vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks. | 2 Tim 2:24 |
I. FOUNDATION STAGE – Ages: Birth to 6 years old – FOCUS: DISCIPLINE: 1 – 12
II. TRAINING STAGE – Ages: 6 to 12 years old – FOCUS: TEACHING TRUTH: 13-26
III. SKILL STAGE – Ages: 12 to 20 years old – FOCUS: SELF-CONTROL: 27-41
IV. APPRENTICESHIP STAGE – Ages: 20 to 30 years old – FOCUS: SERVING: 42 – 49
Credits: BiblicalCounselingCenter.org